Real listening. Not listening to react, relate, respond, or fix: real listening. Genuine curiosity. The kind where you’re trying to understand the other person, and the other person actually feels like you’re trying to understand them. It’s a choice, a discipline, and a gift. But what does listening look (or sound) like in practice? We sat down with Ryan Pemberton, a coach and facilitator at SNP, to unpack the role listening plays in coaching, leadership, and everyday conversations. What he shared reminded us: when someone truly feels heard, it can inspire ah-ha moments, change someone’s outlook, and motivate them to take action.
SNP: Ryan, you came to SNP in 2020 and you already had a passion for coaching and listening…where did it begin?
Ryan: While working with university students at UC Berkeley. These were high-achieving students navigating academic pressure and big questions about their future. I spent five years alongside them. Not just as a coach, but as a listener. I was there to hear their stories, reflect those stories back to them, and help them identify what mattered most as they looked ahead.
SNP: You described yourself as a listener in that role. What does being a listener really mean to you?
Ryan: Listening is all about connection. It’s being present. Not just hearing words, but tuning into the full picture: what’s said, what’s unsaid, and how someone is showing up in the room. True listening helps the other person feel seen and understood. That’s when they often realize something they couldn’t name before. It gives them clarity and, often, momentum.
SNP: So listening isn’t passive—it’s an active, intentional practice?
Ryan: Exactly. Listening creates a space where people can get out of their own heads. Sometimes we get stuck in mental loops, unsure of what we’re thinking or feeling. When someone reflects those thoughts back to us, it can unlock a deeper understanding and help us move forward, personally or professionally.
SNP: We’re in a world of constant comparison, so how does listening help people focus on their goals instead of being distracted by others’?
Ryan: Coaching offers a mirror. We reflect back not just what someone wants to do, but why they want to do it. It’s easy to get influenced by what others are chasing, especially in high-performance environments. Listening helps people come back to their own story, their own goals. And when things start to shift, coaching helps them notice, recalibrate, and move forward with intention.
SNP: Can you share a story that’s stuck with you—one that shows the power of listening?
Ryan: There’s one student from Berkeley I still think about. She came in with big dreams of working in medicine—clear, confident, and focused. Over time, through conversation and reflection, those goals gained more layers. She started thinking not just about a medical career, but about how to serve vulnerable populations. Her goals didn’t change—they deepened. That’s the power of listening: not limiting someone’s dreams, but expanding them with clarity and purpose.
Ryan reminds us that listening is more than a skill. It’s an asset. While the world around us might value speed over presence, listening can be a gift. Whether you’re leading a team, navigating a career decision, or simply showing up for a colleague, the act of helping someone feel seen and understood creates momentum that goes far beyond the conversation.
Click here to learn more about coaching with SNP Communications.
